Greetings.  I played the first version and liked it, though it was sometimes hard to follow.  I'm glad to see you still develop the idea. 

I noticed some bugs in this version:

The Eternal Sunset Society's description is given 3 times in its journal article.

Clicking on the Love MorteM link in conversation causes an exception:

File "textsupport.pyx", line 127, in renpy.text.textsupport.tokenize

Exception: Open text tag at end of string u'Ariza gave me a copy of the novel he is rewriting {p}It is only the prologue, and the protagonist seems to be inspired by me. {It is an attempt to encourage me. It has more sentimental value than as a work in itself.'.

'I am having a lot of problems with the Salem Cut'  - should be Salem Court

'You can see the Salem Cult is getting expensive custody' line is repeated on phone.  Actually, repeated text happens in more than one place, but this is an example.

Miriam - 'are you going to buy my category with that mulatto?' - not certain what this means.  Also, I'm not sure if the character has a racial issue.

The first part of the Eternal Sunset's journal entry is not translated into English.

When speaking to Sarah at the Aquarium, one of the sentences (Elyon talking about how he isn't a good father) isn't translated to English.

There are numerous pronoun issues, 'he', 'she', 'it' misapplied, as in the original version.  It doesn't kill the game, but it happens often.

- I hope this isn't taken in a negative way.  I like your project, and if some errors are caused by machine translation, I choose to be happy that you chose to translate it at all.  Cheers.